The past few days I have not been able to get warm. No matter how much I put on I am still freezing. Went to the doctors yesterday.. he of course wants a slew of blood tests. Got some blood work done last night, did a fasting test for diabetes this morning. Nice. I really don't want to know whats wrong with me. I'd rather stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist ya' know? There is so much crazy health issues that run in my family and I really don't want to have to deal with what some of them have.
I'm still anemic. Been that way as long as I can remember... I have to up my iron pills to four a day! UGH!!!!! I can barely remember to take one pill a day. I've been taking my vitamin religiously Monday-Friday... only because it's on my desk right next to the phone so it's the first thing I see in the morning when I get to work.
Bleh. I should find out Monday where everything stands. They want to do more tests to figure out why I'm anemic.. not sure about taking those yet.
A friend of mine read my tarot cards today. It was fairly interesting.. I don't really believe in that type of thing but it was thought provoking! I didn't write down the card names.. just what they meant and the position they were in.
Daily Lesson - Don't accept anything from yourself but supreme effort.
I don't push myself hard enough and I need to start doing that.
Challenges/Opportunities - What brings sorrow may also give rise to feelings of liberation.
OK, this one kind of stunned me. The way she explained it makes way to much sense. Dad's passing is the sorrow.. but it has given me the strength to leave. I've been on my own before but always really really close (like 10minutes away) to mom. The whole family has always acted like one unit.. and while that's nice, it's kind of suffocating. I need to get out away from it...as much as I love my family they drive me insane. Making the decision to leave, it kind of felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else.. but it does to me.
Situation (she asked about my love life.. go figure!) - The past holds clues to your immediate situation. Evaluate past feelings and compare them to what you feel now.
I've done a lot of thinking about people I've had feelings for in the past lately. It's funny that some of them still give me that warm fuzzy feeling inside, just not as intense as it used to be.. but some of them I wonder why I ever felt anything. People change over time I guess.. and so do feelings. She also told me that I need to take a look at the new people in my life and see what I feel for them. Hmm...
Near Future - Make yourself available to people and resources around you. Consider being a team player.
This ties into work. We have a new project coming up and it's being given to me. I'm going to have to learn how to play well with others so to speak since I'm going to need to get people's help every so often on parts of it. She also said (and this cracks me up) that I need to look to people who are "geniuses" like me. ROFL.. funny
and the Advice - Let the world see your skills and talents.
I'd love for the world to see my skills and talents, but I have to get more confident in them. I don't think I'm all that good, but other people do.. so I should learn to listen to them instead of my own inner voices that are negative.
See.. thought provoking isn't it? The last time someone did anything like this it was some loony old bat who stopped me on the street and read my palm. She told me I was going to die at 30.. and here I am 31 almost 32. Woot.
Someone switched my chair in the office again. I hate this one because it creaks and makes a lot of noise. :( Bleh.. I should go hunt down my old chair.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I always feel like.. somebody's watching me
A few random things today..
How can people not have time for their children.. but they have time to go out with friends and go party and so forth? I don't get it.. I know raising kids is hard and people deserve breaks, but seriously.. spend time with them! You never know how long you've got with them.. cherish each moment while you can ya' know?
Why do people have unprotected sex in this day and age when STD's are all over the place and they're getting stronger and more deadlier? Lets not forget the fact that there is always the possibility of pregnancy too! You would think people would take all this into account and start taking more precautions. Especially with as cheap/readily available that condoms are.. shoot you can get them for free at Planned Parenthood even!
You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of being the only one who "understands". Sometimes this being there for everyone and being the person they lean on gets to be too much. I wonder if people even realize how much of a toll they can take on others when they dump all their baggage on them? I feel like a wise man at the top of a mountain.. people always asking questions and expecting me to have the answers. 'Course, there are people who won't lean on me at all because they know that everyone else does.. that's just as frustrating. They need someone, they know I'm there.. but they don't want to add to the burden everyone else puts on me. I think more often than not they don't realize that I'd welcome them leaning on me as it'd be different than everyone else.
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of being "one of the guys" just because I'm not a girly girl and I'm easy to talk to. I know it's not meant to be a bad thing.. but still, it's like a slap in the face to hear it most the time.
Oh yeah.. and this Chris Benoit murder/suicide thing. Ya' know.. I don't know the guy so I can't pass judgement on him, but all the people who are acting like he what he did is excusable because he was some sort of "hero" and making all sorts or horrible assumptions about his wife and trying to pin the blame on her.. that pisses me off. Yes he was a great wrestler.. but what he did is not excusable and the blame doesn't lay with his wife. I can't fathom how someone could kill someone they love.. let alone their own child. I hope for the little boy's sake that he was out of it when he was smothered.
How can people not have time for their children.. but they have time to go out with friends and go party and so forth? I don't get it.. I know raising kids is hard and people deserve breaks, but seriously.. spend time with them! You never know how long you've got with them.. cherish each moment while you can ya' know?
Why do people have unprotected sex in this day and age when STD's are all over the place and they're getting stronger and more deadlier? Lets not forget the fact that there is always the possibility of pregnancy too! You would think people would take all this into account and start taking more precautions. Especially with as cheap/readily available that condoms are.. shoot you can get them for free at Planned Parenthood even!
You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of being the only one who "understands". Sometimes this being there for everyone and being the person they lean on gets to be too much. I wonder if people even realize how much of a toll they can take on others when they dump all their baggage on them? I feel like a wise man at the top of a mountain.. people always asking questions and expecting me to have the answers. 'Course, there are people who won't lean on me at all because they know that everyone else does.. that's just as frustrating. They need someone, they know I'm there.. but they don't want to add to the burden everyone else puts on me. I think more often than not they don't realize that I'd welcome them leaning on me as it'd be different than everyone else.
You know what else I'm tired of? I'm tired of being "one of the guys" just because I'm not a girly girl and I'm easy to talk to. I know it's not meant to be a bad thing.. but still, it's like a slap in the face to hear it most the time.
Oh yeah.. and this Chris Benoit murder/suicide thing. Ya' know.. I don't know the guy so I can't pass judgement on him, but all the people who are acting like he what he did is excusable because he was some sort of "hero" and making all sorts or horrible assumptions about his wife and trying to pin the blame on her.. that pisses me off. Yes he was a great wrestler.. but what he did is not excusable and the blame doesn't lay with his wife. I can't fathom how someone could kill someone they love.. let alone their own child. I hope for the little boy's sake that he was out of it when he was smothered.
Monday, June 25, 2007
I better see a doctor 'cause I think I'm getting hooked on you..
A few quotes mixed in with random thoughts today
There is a time for everything - Thomas Edison
Indeed there is a time for everything. Most people aren't patient enough for that, myself included.
Happiness and love are just a choice away - Leo Buscaglia
So true. Most people are however afraid to take the leap though. Rejection, low self esteem, fear of knowing, etc. all these things hold people back. My biggest issue with making the leap is self esteem and fear of getting hurt. Not so much the rejection because that wouldn't bother me much.. it's the whole falling for someone and getting involved with them and the possibility of that being yanked out from under me should they find someone else. I guess that ties in to the self esteem eh? I'd almost rather ride an elevator up a skyscraper... and I hate small enclosed spaces and heights! I'm gradually getting over the fear of relationships and such.. it's going to take sometime though.
True happiness is not gained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose - Helen Keller
Think about that.. and let it soak in. Nothing wrong with spoiling one's self from time to time, but there are things in life which make you feel accomplished, happy, and good that shouldn't be overlooked.
Finally joined the 21st century and got an MP3 player. Been having fun trying to figure out how to get the Itunes music onto it. What a pain in the rear. It's kind of nice though, I can store different cd's on it.. don't have to keep changing cd's and so forth. I think for Christmas I'm going to get the kids one of their own and fill it with music they like.
I'm thinking I may need to extend my visit to Chicago from 3-4 days to 6-7 days. So much I want to see while I'm there! I get more and more excited about this as the days go on.. :)
There is a time for everything - Thomas Edison
Indeed there is a time for everything. Most people aren't patient enough for that, myself included.
Happiness and love are just a choice away - Leo Buscaglia
So true. Most people are however afraid to take the leap though. Rejection, low self esteem, fear of knowing, etc. all these things hold people back. My biggest issue with making the leap is self esteem and fear of getting hurt. Not so much the rejection because that wouldn't bother me much.. it's the whole falling for someone and getting involved with them and the possibility of that being yanked out from under me should they find someone else. I guess that ties in to the self esteem eh? I'd almost rather ride an elevator up a skyscraper... and I hate small enclosed spaces and heights! I'm gradually getting over the fear of relationships and such.. it's going to take sometime though.
True happiness is not gained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose - Helen Keller
Think about that.. and let it soak in. Nothing wrong with spoiling one's self from time to time, but there are things in life which make you feel accomplished, happy, and good that shouldn't be overlooked.
Finally joined the 21st century and got an MP3 player. Been having fun trying to figure out how to get the Itunes music onto it. What a pain in the rear. It's kind of nice though, I can store different cd's on it.. don't have to keep changing cd's and so forth. I think for Christmas I'm going to get the kids one of their own and fill it with music they like.
I'm thinking I may need to extend my visit to Chicago from 3-4 days to 6-7 days. So much I want to see while I'm there! I get more and more excited about this as the days go on.. :)
Friday, June 22, 2007
Patience is not my style..
Hmm.. where to start. I always love starting over anew with blogs. It's like buying a new house and trying to figure out where to set up the furniture.. OK, not quite THAT exciting.. but what little excitement I get in my life I'll take ya' know? Just to warn ya'll.. I tend to get long winded from time to time!
Today's inspirational message is:
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there - John Wooden
In life you can run into some very insensitive people, who are all about themselves and they don't care who they hurt or even notice they are hurting someone. My dad passed away 106 days ago (yup, we know how many days) so it's still brand new to us and we're learning to cope with it. The neighbor came down to visit the other day and told us that it was a "blessing" that my dad passed away because her daughter got to see what death is like. I was royally pissed off at first.. how dare they? How dare they say my dad's passing was a blessing for their own selfish gain! But the more I reflect on it, I'm not angry so much as I'm disgusted and saddened. These people were our friends at one point, but a lot has happened and well.. they aren't anymore. Always good when people show their true colors.. ah well, live and learn right? You can't let people like that bring you down with them.. the best thing you can do is walk away.
I'm fairly excited about some upcoming trips. I'm going to Texas in August to meet with some friends, I'm really jazzed about this one. It's going to be such an awesome trip and the people I'm meeting are wonderful and fun. I expect I won't ever want to leave. In October I am going to Chicago. I plan on moving there, hopefully by May of next year. My dad grew up there and it'd be nice to get in touch with his roots so to speak. My uncle is also there... hopefully I'll get to spend some time with him. I'd love to hear his stories about my dad's childhood. I'm hopefully also going to get to be able to meet a friend that lives there. I'd like to get in a trip to San Diego.. we'll see how that goes.
Anyhow.. I've rambled enough for my first post. :)
(Word.. how cool is that, I ran spellcheck and it came back with only four errors. Three of which Hmm., OK, and ya'll. I can spell.. WOOT)
Today's inspirational message is:
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there - John Wooden
In life you can run into some very insensitive people, who are all about themselves and they don't care who they hurt or even notice they are hurting someone. My dad passed away 106 days ago (yup, we know how many days) so it's still brand new to us and we're learning to cope with it. The neighbor came down to visit the other day and told us that it was a "blessing" that my dad passed away because her daughter got to see what death is like. I was royally pissed off at first.. how dare they? How dare they say my dad's passing was a blessing for their own selfish gain! But the more I reflect on it, I'm not angry so much as I'm disgusted and saddened. These people were our friends at one point, but a lot has happened and well.. they aren't anymore. Always good when people show their true colors.. ah well, live and learn right? You can't let people like that bring you down with them.. the best thing you can do is walk away.
I'm fairly excited about some upcoming trips. I'm going to Texas in August to meet with some friends, I'm really jazzed about this one. It's going to be such an awesome trip and the people I'm meeting are wonderful and fun. I expect I won't ever want to leave. In October I am going to Chicago. I plan on moving there, hopefully by May of next year. My dad grew up there and it'd be nice to get in touch with his roots so to speak. My uncle is also there... hopefully I'll get to spend some time with him. I'd love to hear his stories about my dad's childhood. I'm hopefully also going to get to be able to meet a friend that lives there. I'd like to get in a trip to San Diego.. we'll see how that goes.
Anyhow.. I've rambled enough for my first post. :)
(Word.. how cool is that, I ran spellcheck and it came back with only four errors. Three of which Hmm., OK, and ya'll. I can spell.. WOOT)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
