Dad has been gone for 142 days now... I used to have it down to the hour, but I finally stopped that after the 100th day. I think about Dad each and every day.. some days it feels like he's been gone for an eternity, some days it feels like it just happened within the last few minutes. I'm still angry that the doctors took the choice to continue the fight away from my dad. Part of me understands.. in order to continue there would have been an ugly war and lots of sacrifice... but it should have been HIS choice, not theirs. They gave up on him.. and that makes me bitter. How long would we have had with him if they had allowed him to fight? Even one more hour would have been a blessing. My dad was a proud man.. a strong man... he loved his family, his country, and his friends. There have been many times when I felt like giving up and he told me to keep going. I miss his smile.. I miss his laugh.. I miss how he would crack jokes.. I miss how he listened.. I miss seeing him in the backroom putting puzzles together.. I miss everything. I know though, as much as it hurts.. he wouldn't want me to be sad. My heart aches deeply for him.. and that will never go away. Over time though I am sure that the ache will grow dull.
I had a beautiful blog about life lessons over on my Myspace blog.. but I wiped out my blog in a fit of sadness. Ah well.. another life lesson learned there, don't delete unless you're sure.
A few things I've learned in life:
Love, is a beautiful thing. It's a shame that people take it for granted, use it, and abuse it. Love can be delicate, like a glass figurine perched high on a rickety shelf.. bump it and it could crash and shatter into a many pieces. Love can also be strong.. like a steel post, it can withstand quite a bit. Love should be cherished and treated like the treasure it is.
Friends can amaze you and disappoint you.. they're people and expecting the impossible from them will only set you up for sadness and anger. Accept that they will make mistakes.. and be amazed when they are there when you make mistakes.
Sometimes you have to hurt the people you love in order to help them.
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.. if you can't forgive, you haven't moved past it yet. Forgiving is not forgetting.. you can forgive someone but remember what they have done.
Holding on to bitterness and hate will only make you less of a person.
Live your life to it's fullest.. tomorrow is never promised.
Help those you can help.. and accept that you can't help everyone.
It's ok to cry.
Learn to love yourself.. if you can't love you, how do you expect anyone else to love you?
If you allow yourself to be made into a doormat, don't be surprised if people wipe their feet on you.
There are a lot more.. but I'm to tired to put them down right now. :)
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
The ant and the rubber tree plant..
So while I was waiting for my ride yesterday I got to watching some ants (what can I say.. they fascinated me). Someone had dropped a cracker or chip on the ground and the ants were doing their best to take it back to their place. One ant was busy dragging this piece away that was twice the size of it's body.. it could barely move it, but it kept on trying. Occasionally another ant would come up to it and start tugging right along with it but eventually it would leave and this ant would again be by itself pulling it's treasure by it's lonesome. I watched for ten minutes and it amazed me that this ant could have given up.. it could have went off to try to find something smaller and easier to pull, but it never did. It stuck with it.
People always tell me how hard things are in life.. and how they should give up. Hell, I'm guilty of that myself. But here's the thing.. if you give up just because the going is tough than you may miss out on the benefit of having the whole chunk of cracker as opposed to just a tiny bit. Funny how watching insects that people would normally step on without any consideration could make me have a somewhat deep thought.
People always tell me how hard things are in life.. and how they should give up. Hell, I'm guilty of that myself. But here's the thing.. if you give up just because the going is tough than you may miss out on the benefit of having the whole chunk of cracker as opposed to just a tiny bit. Funny how watching insects that people would normally step on without any consideration could make me have a somewhat deep thought.
Time heals all wounds...
One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it - Sidney Howard
I wonder if people ever stop to think that what they want could require some sacrifice on their part. All to often we want things, but don't want to give things up for them. 'Course often times people think "want" and think things like becoming rich and famous. To me want is things like wanting to better one's self, wanting to be happy, wanting to be in love.. all these require a person to give things up. You want to better yourself, you have to give up whats holding you back. You want to be happy you have to give up the things that are keeping you from being happy, you want to fall in love you have to give up the things that are blocking that. It sounds really simple..but it all makes sense if you think about it.
It's not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts. - Adlai Stevenson
Indeed! Live your life.. don't go through life wishing and waiting, make things happen. Don't always put off things. Be happy! You only get to go around one time.
One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated. - Thomas Moore
Just because you have book smarts doesn't mean that you know everything there is to know. Often time life's lessons don't come in a book.
Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well. - The Buddha
I love this one.. it's kind of along the lines of all good things must come to an end. Nothing lasts forever, not even redwood trees. Live in the moment and enjoy what you've got.
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis
This one really makes me think... it's not what you get back, it's what you put into it. If you only give a halfassed effort, don't expect to get much back. Be proud of what you do, rather than proud of what it gets you.
The glow of inspiration warms us; it is a holy rapture. - Ovid
Yes! What is life without inspiration? All art, music, books, etc. are born from inspiration... the world would be a sad and dreary place without it.
The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. - Norman Vincent Peale
Truer words have never been spoken.. it's hard to do though.
Joy is not in things; it is in us. - Richard Wagner
How many people look to material things for happiness? Granted that these things can make one happy.. but that happiness doesn't last.
I love quotes.. they tend to be though provoking and fun. Everyone has a different take on what they mean, so it's always interesting to hear what other people's thoughts are on them.
Didn't get much sleep last night.. had a lot going through my mind. Life has a lot of ups and downs, life a roller coaster.. you never know what is around the next corner, but it's the thrill of finding out that keeps up on it.
I wonder if people ever stop to think that what they want could require some sacrifice on their part. All to often we want things, but don't want to give things up for them. 'Course often times people think "want" and think things like becoming rich and famous. To me want is things like wanting to better one's self, wanting to be happy, wanting to be in love.. all these require a person to give things up. You want to better yourself, you have to give up whats holding you back. You want to be happy you have to give up the things that are keeping you from being happy, you want to fall in love you have to give up the things that are blocking that. It sounds really simple..but it all makes sense if you think about it.
It's not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts. - Adlai Stevenson
Indeed! Live your life.. don't go through life wishing and waiting, make things happen. Don't always put off things. Be happy! You only get to go around one time.
One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated. - Thomas Moore
Just because you have book smarts doesn't mean that you know everything there is to know. Often time life's lessons don't come in a book.
Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well. - The Buddha
I love this one.. it's kind of along the lines of all good things must come to an end. Nothing lasts forever, not even redwood trees. Live in the moment and enjoy what you've got.
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis
This one really makes me think... it's not what you get back, it's what you put into it. If you only give a halfassed effort, don't expect to get much back. Be proud of what you do, rather than proud of what it gets you.
The glow of inspiration warms us; it is a holy rapture. - Ovid
Yes! What is life without inspiration? All art, music, books, etc. are born from inspiration... the world would be a sad and dreary place without it.
The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. - Norman Vincent Peale
Truer words have never been spoken.. it's hard to do though.
Joy is not in things; it is in us. - Richard Wagner
How many people look to material things for happiness? Granted that these things can make one happy.. but that happiness doesn't last.
I love quotes.. they tend to be though provoking and fun. Everyone has a different take on what they mean, so it's always interesting to hear what other people's thoughts are on them.
Didn't get much sleep last night.. had a lot going through my mind. Life has a lot of ups and downs, life a roller coaster.. you never know what is around the next corner, but it's the thrill of finding out that keeps up on it.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Even now when I come shining through...
Some people just should not have pets.
There is a family down the street, awesome people.. but they refuse to get their cats fixed. These are all stray cats that they've adopted.. which is great, but they don't get them fixed! I know that it can get expensive, but there are a lot of places that spay/neuter for fairly cheap.. heck there is even a feral cat place that will give you the trap, you bring the cat in to them with the trap, they fix the cat and give it a vet check and shots, give the cat back to you and you release it where you caught it.. and they do this for free or a small donation. I HATE when people keep contributing to the problem.. you only have to go to any shelter to see that there is an overpopulation problem!
The family across the street are nice enough people.. but they let their dogs run loose. Our area is zoned a "free range". The dogs can run loose, but people can also kill the dog if it comes on their property. These dogs run in the street after cars, have gotten in fights with dogs people are walking on leashes, etc. Another neighbor has already taken a shot at them. It's sad.. these dogs may get killed, maimed, hurt because their owners are to stupid to build a fence or keep them chained.
I won't even go into the cats and dogs that are eaten by the coyotes. People just leave their animals out to fend for themselves and they get eaten. It's rather sickening.. ever hear a dog scream when it's being eaten? Not a sound you're likely to forget.
Pets are a responsibility.. they can't go to the cupboard to get their own food or turn on the faucet to get their own water. They can't build their own protection and make sure they're safe at night. It's not fair to them when people get them and don't take care of them. Pets aren't disposable.. if you're not willing to take care of them 100%, DON'T GET THEM! And if you're not willing to learn how to care for them.. DON'T GET THEM!
I hate seeing animals suffer due to stupidity.
On to other subjects..
I can't stand when men say there are no good women out there and women say there are no good men out there. Open your eyes people! Quit looking for someone who looks like a model and get realistic... and no that doesn't mean date a troll.
Most the good men and women have been hurt by a bad ending to a relationship that they don't want to put their heart out there, you've got to work at it. But there are plenty of good men and women out there who just need the right person to come along. It takes time and patience to bring them around.
Trying to get organized for the upcoming trips. I've narrowed down the places I want to see in Chicago to nine places and things:
#1. Cancer survivor garden
#2. Architecture tour
#3. Chicago History Museum
#4. Museum of Science and Industry
#5. Shedd Aquarium
#6. The Field Museum
#7. The Adler Planetarium
#8. Museum of Contemporary Art
#9. Chicago Botanic Gardens
I've got to get people figured out next.. lots of people, little time.. have to figure out if I want to try and fit them all in this trip or make some wait until the next trip.
San Diego should be easy enough.. I'd love to see the Zoo, Oldtown, and the beach while I'm there. The people will be easier to figure out too.
Alright.. I'm going to quit for now, this may get way to wordy.
There is a family down the street, awesome people.. but they refuse to get their cats fixed. These are all stray cats that they've adopted.. which is great, but they don't get them fixed! I know that it can get expensive, but there are a lot of places that spay/neuter for fairly cheap.. heck there is even a feral cat place that will give you the trap, you bring the cat in to them with the trap, they fix the cat and give it a vet check and shots, give the cat back to you and you release it where you caught it.. and they do this for free or a small donation. I HATE when people keep contributing to the problem.. you only have to go to any shelter to see that there is an overpopulation problem!
The family across the street are nice enough people.. but they let their dogs run loose. Our area is zoned a "free range". The dogs can run loose, but people can also kill the dog if it comes on their property. These dogs run in the street after cars, have gotten in fights with dogs people are walking on leashes, etc. Another neighbor has already taken a shot at them. It's sad.. these dogs may get killed, maimed, hurt because their owners are to stupid to build a fence or keep them chained.
I won't even go into the cats and dogs that are eaten by the coyotes. People just leave their animals out to fend for themselves and they get eaten. It's rather sickening.. ever hear a dog scream when it's being eaten? Not a sound you're likely to forget.
Pets are a responsibility.. they can't go to the cupboard to get their own food or turn on the faucet to get their own water. They can't build their own protection and make sure they're safe at night. It's not fair to them when people get them and don't take care of them. Pets aren't disposable.. if you're not willing to take care of them 100%, DON'T GET THEM! And if you're not willing to learn how to care for them.. DON'T GET THEM!
I hate seeing animals suffer due to stupidity.
On to other subjects..
I can't stand when men say there are no good women out there and women say there are no good men out there. Open your eyes people! Quit looking for someone who looks like a model and get realistic... and no that doesn't mean date a troll.
Most the good men and women have been hurt by a bad ending to a relationship that they don't want to put their heart out there, you've got to work at it. But there are plenty of good men and women out there who just need the right person to come along. It takes time and patience to bring them around.
Trying to get organized for the upcoming trips. I've narrowed down the places I want to see in Chicago to nine places and things:
#1. Cancer survivor garden
#2. Architecture tour
#3. Chicago History Museum
#4. Museum of Science and Industry
#5. Shedd Aquarium
#6. The Field Museum
#7. The Adler Planetarium
#8. Museum of Contemporary Art
#9. Chicago Botanic Gardens
I've got to get people figured out next.. lots of people, little time.. have to figure out if I want to try and fit them all in this trip or make some wait until the next trip.
San Diego should be easy enough.. I'd love to see the Zoo, Oldtown, and the beach while I'm there. The people will be easier to figure out too.
Alright.. I'm going to quit for now, this may get way to wordy.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Into the darkness...
Just a few thoughts rattling around in my head tonight.
A friend and I were talking about how we might lose our jobs.. she got to grumbling and went off on a rant about illegal aliens and how they "steal" the jobs that honest hard working Americans would do. OK.. lets be honest with ourselves here. If they were jobs that honest hardworking Americans would do.. than why don't the apply for them?! I'm so tired of hearing that excuse as a reason to hate Illegal Immigrants.. and the whole "they're living off our tax dollars" thing. Granted there are a lot of them that utilize the government programs.. but there are a heck of a lot of them working and paying taxes, and they don't see a dime of their tax money when tax season rolls around because they're working illegally. That's free money for the government. They aren't mooching off the system and making life hell for people.. they're busting their butts trying to make a living and living with the threat of deportation over their head. Yes yes.. I know, they should come here legally. I agree, it would be a much better way for them to come here.. but since not everyone has the money and means to sit and wait for the documents and process they're going to come over anyway they can. Do you blame them? Life is a little better here.. and we take that for granted. The system needs to change and people need to quit whining so much about the illegals and start dealing with the bigger crises we have like the skyrocketing cost of gas, the ever expanding prison population, the environmental problems, the homeless, etc. things that demand our attention NOW. Solve THOSE problems and then you can move on.. and no building a bigger fence or making life hell for them isn't a solution.
I was on Enviro this evening and stupidly opened a thread about a chihuahua that had been dragged behind a SUV. The pictures were heartbreaking.. how can someone do that to something so defenseless? What reason could they have had? People who abuse animals, elderly, children, and people weaker than them make me sick. The poor dog is suffering.. and for no reason at all. It bothers me to know that this little dog may not live because of someones carelessness and stupidity. Life is way to precious and I wish more people could see that.
Mom has plans for a memorial rock garden for dad. She had a flagpole installed and at the base of it there is a plaque that reads "Proud Retired Veteran". We built a diamond with cement edgers and filled it in with white marble chips. We bought 14 rocks (one for each ship and station during his service) and we're going to paint the name of the ship/place he was stationed and the years there on the rocks. When they're done we're going to put some protective sealer over them and then place them in the diamond.. a memorial rock garden with a very personal touch.
A local gallery invited me to be part of their showcase in October. I have to submit 15 photos by the end of the month and they will pick 5-6 of them for the showcase. I'm having a hard time narrowing it down so I've asked my friends for help. So far none of them have chosen the same pictures! Which makes it even harder.. I may recruit some help from acquaintances next. Hrm.
I'm so ready for this week to be over.. it's been a fairly bad one. Bleh!
A friend and I were talking about how we might lose our jobs.. she got to grumbling and went off on a rant about illegal aliens and how they "steal" the jobs that honest hard working Americans would do. OK.. lets be honest with ourselves here. If they were jobs that honest hardworking Americans would do.. than why don't the apply for them?! I'm so tired of hearing that excuse as a reason to hate Illegal Immigrants.. and the whole "they're living off our tax dollars" thing. Granted there are a lot of them that utilize the government programs.. but there are a heck of a lot of them working and paying taxes, and they don't see a dime of their tax money when tax season rolls around because they're working illegally. That's free money for the government. They aren't mooching off the system and making life hell for people.. they're busting their butts trying to make a living and living with the threat of deportation over their head. Yes yes.. I know, they should come here legally. I agree, it would be a much better way for them to come here.. but since not everyone has the money and means to sit and wait for the documents and process they're going to come over anyway they can. Do you blame them? Life is a little better here.. and we take that for granted. The system needs to change and people need to quit whining so much about the illegals and start dealing with the bigger crises we have like the skyrocketing cost of gas, the ever expanding prison population, the environmental problems, the homeless, etc. things that demand our attention NOW. Solve THOSE problems and then you can move on.. and no building a bigger fence or making life hell for them isn't a solution.
I was on Enviro this evening and stupidly opened a thread about a chihuahua that had been dragged behind a SUV. The pictures were heartbreaking.. how can someone do that to something so defenseless? What reason could they have had? People who abuse animals, elderly, children, and people weaker than them make me sick. The poor dog is suffering.. and for no reason at all. It bothers me to know that this little dog may not live because of someones carelessness and stupidity. Life is way to precious and I wish more people could see that.
Mom has plans for a memorial rock garden for dad. She had a flagpole installed and at the base of it there is a plaque that reads "Proud Retired Veteran". We built a diamond with cement edgers and filled it in with white marble chips. We bought 14 rocks (one for each ship and station during his service) and we're going to paint the name of the ship/place he was stationed and the years there on the rocks. When they're done we're going to put some protective sealer over them and then place them in the diamond.. a memorial rock garden with a very personal touch.
A local gallery invited me to be part of their showcase in October. I have to submit 15 photos by the end of the month and they will pick 5-6 of them for the showcase. I'm having a hard time narrowing it down so I've asked my friends for help. So far none of them have chosen the same pictures! Which makes it even harder.. I may recruit some help from acquaintances next. Hrm.
I'm so ready for this week to be over.. it's been a fairly bad one. Bleh!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Click click boom..
Joy is not in things; it is in us. - Richard Wagner
How true.. we tend to look to things to make us happy rather than looking into ourselves for the key to our happiness.
A few things that have been on my mind lately.
Marriage and divorce. Perhaps it's just me, but marriage seems to be somewhat of a joke now-a-days. It used to be people got married and it was a "til death do us part" type thing. Now it seems like people get married more on a whim than because of love. It's insane! People get divorced like it's no big deal.. but it is. Most people can't be bothered with working out the problems in their marriage either. It's like disposable spouses.. this one has something wrong? Get rid of it and get another! Ugh.
People use the word love way to casually. I'm not talking about "I love those shoes" or "I love this pasta salad".. I'm talking about "I love you" or "I love her". It tends to start meaning a whole lot less when you supposedly fall in love over and over and over again. People like the idea of being in love so they try so hard to be. Personally I feel love is a beautiful and powerful thing that shouldn't be treated as carelessly as it is.
You know in life we choose our own paths. The choices we make, the things we do, how we act.. this all points us down our path. Some people choose the wrong paths.. they tend to be very selfish and not care who they hurt. It saddens me to know that there are people out there who get a kick out of hurting someone.. and then put the blame everywhere but on their shoulders. It's a shame that these people don't see what they do to others.. or maybe they do, they just don't care. Whatever the reason.. the path they choose is a dark, narrow, lonely one. It's possible to change paths.. but you have to want to.
How true.. we tend to look to things to make us happy rather than looking into ourselves for the key to our happiness.
A few things that have been on my mind lately.
Marriage and divorce. Perhaps it's just me, but marriage seems to be somewhat of a joke now-a-days. It used to be people got married and it was a "til death do us part" type thing. Now it seems like people get married more on a whim than because of love. It's insane! People get divorced like it's no big deal.. but it is. Most people can't be bothered with working out the problems in their marriage either. It's like disposable spouses.. this one has something wrong? Get rid of it and get another! Ugh.
People use the word love way to casually. I'm not talking about "I love those shoes" or "I love this pasta salad".. I'm talking about "I love you" or "I love her". It tends to start meaning a whole lot less when you supposedly fall in love over and over and over again. People like the idea of being in love so they try so hard to be. Personally I feel love is a beautiful and powerful thing that shouldn't be treated as carelessly as it is.
You know in life we choose our own paths. The choices we make, the things we do, how we act.. this all points us down our path. Some people choose the wrong paths.. they tend to be very selfish and not care who they hurt. It saddens me to know that there are people out there who get a kick out of hurting someone.. and then put the blame everywhere but on their shoulders. It's a shame that these people don't see what they do to others.. or maybe they do, they just don't care. Whatever the reason.. the path they choose is a dark, narrow, lonely one. It's possible to change paths.. but you have to want to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
