Why don't you lay your weapons down now...

I've been trying to keep it together all day... it hasn't been easy. It's been six months now without dad. I miss my dad everyday.. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Almost everything in my life reminds me of him... and some days are easier than others. It hurts like hell though that I really don't have anyone to talk to about any of this. All of my friends are usually to busy telling me about their lives and what not that if I mention dad it's like a two second conversation and then back to stuff about them. I suppose it's probably selfish of me to expect people who weren't close to him and really didn't know him to want to hear about him.. but damn it, sometimes I just want to talk about him and have someone listen without a sudden change in conversation. Maybe people are uncomfortable with hearing about him.. I don't know. It just makes me sad that everyone tells me I shouldn't bottle things up, and yet.. threes this. I feel like I almost have to bottle everything dad related up because nobody wants to let me talk about him. That hurts.

I've been in San Diego for 5 days now. Haven't done a whole lot.. I did see Sunset Cliffs and got some awesome pictures of them. There is a peace sign on a rock there.. it's kind of nice. Tomorrow we're going to see the Hospitality Houses in Balboa Park. Monday little guy and I are doing the all day trolley thing. We'll be going from one end to the other and so forth. Perhaps I'll get to see a few friends on that journey since I'll be in their neck of the woods.

The trip out was uneventful.. except me getting chosen randomly for secondary security. It wasn't so horrible. Just meant I didn't have to wait as long for Jen since she always has to go through secondary due to the leg brace. The flight itself wasn't so bad.. I'm still not a big fan of flying though.

I've got 20 days left in San Diego..time seems to go by pretty fast.

I suppose I should toss in some quotes.. my inbox is jammed full of them.

Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy. - Abraham Heschel

Mrm.. not really sure how to interrupt this one

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling. - Margaret Lee Runback

Interesting.. not quite sure how to interrupt this one either. Unless of course it means that happiness is not something you should look for because it's always there.


The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. - Norman Vincent Peale

I wonder then.. is anyone truly happy? Very few people are able to not hate anyone or worry. I try not to hate but sometimes it's hard. I know plenty of people who say they could never hate anyone.. but they hate people like child molesters and such.
I like this quote.. and am half tempted to send it to a few people I know.
Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you are a mistake. - Georgette Mosbacher

How very true. How many people are willing to throw away a friendship over mistakes. Funny how that works... as if they themselves are without faults.

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well. The Buddha

Hrm.. pretty self explanatory I think. As Star Trek put it.. "All good things must come to an end".

There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T. Washington

Just what it says. There is no shame in what you do.

Friends are the sunshine of life. - John Hay

Indeed. They bring a lot of light, but they can also bring darkness... but usually in the end they can light the darkness again.

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde

Indeed.. no matter how much money someone has, they can't change their past.

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. Pablo Picasso

True enough.. art is a beautiful thing and should be cherished.

It ain't over 'til it's over. - Yogi Berra

Simple yet true.. if you give up just because you think you're not going to win you never know what will happen in the end. Let the end be the end.

The web of our life is of mingled yarn, good and ill together. - William Shakespeare

Indeed.. you can't go through life expecting everything to be lollipops and kittens.

That's it for today folks.. if I don't blog for a few days it's because I'm in San Diego and enjoying it. :)