Into the deep...

I intended to post a deep one closer to Thanksgiving.. but since I'm thinking of it now, I'll go ahead and do it now instead of waiting.

Tonight we went to a tree lighting ceremony that Hospice puts on here every year.. they do a butterfly release in Summer and a tree lighting around Thanksgiving. We went to the butterfly one, it was a beautiful ceremony.. thought provoking and very emotional. When you first get there you give them your loved one's name (names) that have passed on, and they read them.. they also have a singer or choirs (the butterfly one had a singer, this one had choirs) that sing sentimental songs.. the butterfly one was "Somewhere over the Rainbow" and tonight's was "Love Heals".

Tonight's proved to be no different..it was thought provoking and emotional. The Chaplain read an essay that Christine Cleary had written.. it's titled "The Deeper Well of Memory", this part really hit home. "I believe there is a difference between memory and remembering. Remembering has to do with turning the oven off before leaving the house, but memory is nurtured by emotion. It springs from a deeper well, safe from dementia and the passage of time. "
You can find the entire essay here:
http://thisibelieve.org/offsite_links.php?link=http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4538138

While they were reading the names off I heard someone crying behind us... I wasn't the only one who heard the crying as other people were looking around. One of the Hospice volunteers comforted this woman. I was ok until I heard her cry.. my heart broke for her. She had nobody with her.. was she this alone in the world since her loved one passed on? Does she not have friends or family? Maybe she wanted to be there alone.. maybe she didn't want to share her grief with her living loved ones. I don't know. I sincerely hope that she finds some peace in her life.

Now on to the thankful part of this blog.

Every year I do one of these type of things, usually on one of the boards I am on.. but this year I decided to do it in my blog. I make a small list of the people who have had some sort of affect on my life and write why I'm thankful for them. *If I don't put your name, it's not a slap in the face.. it's just that if I thanked everyone this post would be a million pages long.. so don't take offense, I am grateful for everyone in my life*

I am thankful for the years I got to spend with my dad. There are many people who don't have that opportunity and/or don't get along with their fathers.. and I am truly blessed to have had my dad.

I am thankful for my mom.. although we don't always see eye to eye and sometimes I grumble about her, she is my rock.

I am thankful for Jimmy and Rose.. they are my reason for living.

I am thankful for my sisters and my nana. They drive me insane, but at the same time we all need each other.. it's the smiles, laughter, and tears that makes me thankful for them.

I am thankful for Rich, he's been around for most of my life and through the ups and downs we have managed to maintain some sort of goofy friendship that is fueled by silly videos, jokes, and lots of computer talk (on his part.. sometimes I actually learn something new from him in those talks). I admire his strengths and the fact that he is striving to better his life for himself, and not for anyone else.

I am thankful for Jason, because through all the years he's been a constant. I know that if I really want to hear the truth, that I can ask him and he'll give me a no nonsense answer.

I am thankful for Brent.. we had a long time without contact, but it feels like it was just days and not years. He makes me smile with his Jeff Dunham addiction and his self proclaimed innocence... and the memories of Hobie and waterbeds.

I am thankful for Justin.. he's the biggest nerd I know and by far one of the best conversationalists (e-mailists?). He's a wealth of knowledge, has good taste in books, and always has some sort of quote or saying to go with every situation. I have learned a good bit from him about everything from hunting, guns, grades, pipes, and hillbilly stuff. :D

I am thankful for James... through the ups and downs and loopy de loops it's been an interesting ride. It's an addiction.. what can I say? Thanks for warming my heart. *SPORK*

Jamie, Autum, Twin, JamieAnne, Tish, SN, Larry, Amanda, Barbie, Preacher, John, POM, Wolfie.. the ones I talk/talked to the most from Myspace (well.. with the exception of the one above) I am thankful for ya'll.. I've learned quite a bit from all of you. The ups and downs and ins and outs of friendships.. the give and take.. the push comes to shove. Here's to the good and the bad.. cheers.

I am thankful for Deb.. she's like my second mom. She makes the most sense, even when she's not making sense (and that will make sense to her!).

I am thankful for JenS and her kids.. she's full of advice, some of which I take and they can make me smile. But Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! :)

I am thankful for JJ.. we did our time together, maybe someday things will be the same.

I am thankful for Travis.. yes, I am thankful for my ex. I know people are supposed to be all bitter and hateful towards their ex's (or at least that's what it seems like in today's world) but we've been able to put all that aside and still maintain some sort of friendship.

Last but not least.. I am thankful for all the people in my life, they make the world a nicer place.