This post is dedicated to my dad..

Dear Dad,
By the time I get all my thoughts out into words.. you'll have been gone for eight months. Life has been different without you.. in a lot of ways it feels like you're still here though. I think you'd be proud of how far we've all come since your passing. The Twidgets are amazing.. I think of all the people in the world that I know, they are the strongest. They haven't had an easy road.. watching everything that happened to you those years and then losing you. 'Course.. they have me, mom, Jen, and Star too.. and that helps. Mom and I are keeping each other laughing.. we laugh until we cry and can't stop laughing just about every day. We also try to keep busy.. gotten a lot done around the house and in the yard. The next big project for after snow season is building a roof between the house and the garage.. the screen room was nice, but it wouldn't have stood up to the snow and wind so we opted to build something permanent. Hopefully since we have more experience building things now it'll look better than the ghetto screen door we made for the barn.

I've learned quite a bit about people since you passed.. sometimes the hard way, but you once told me something like the hard lessons in life are the ones you remember the most. I often wonder if people even bother to look and see the real me, or if they just see what they want to see. I guess it's not really important.. if they can't open their eyes and see past what they want to see, then there isn't anything I can do about it right? Been a lot of people this year who are like that.. and.. sometimes I need to open my eyes more about people as well. People are kind of funny.. one day it's good, the next it's not.. and you have to wonder what the hell is going on. If you ask outright they get pissed, if you don't they get pissed.. it's a lose-lose situation. *sigh* I guess that's human nature.

I think you would get a kick out of the donkeys we adopted. One of them looks like Eeyore.. remember how I always wanted a donkey growing up? I have two now. I absolutely adore them.. they've both got so much personality.

A friend suggested that I look into grief support groups.. I took her advice and joined a couple of them. It's been interesting seeing the stories others share. I haven't quite gotten past introducing myself to them. It's hard for me to put into words what I want to say.. funny as hell isn't it.. me at a loss for words! I think part of the reluctance is that I hate having to go over and over and over and over again about your battle and death. It still hurts.

Oh yeah.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! I know it's two days early, but who cares.

Love you.. miss you,
Me